Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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