2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize