Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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