you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
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I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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