Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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