I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize