Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize