i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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