I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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