She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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