y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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