cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize