I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize