His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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