Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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