I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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