Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize