This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize