She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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