I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
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You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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