"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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