Cold hands, warm shart.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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