i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize