Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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