pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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