Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize