It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
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I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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