Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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