Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I cockslap morals
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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