i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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