I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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