He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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