i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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