I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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