please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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