Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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