I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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