I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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