okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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