her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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