he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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