I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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