Say something about gay babies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize