If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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