I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Small penises have feelings too.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize