i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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