Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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