am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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