When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Congratulations! We have a period
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