I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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