I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dear god my vagina.
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